


Fields of Duscur

by ThePM



Series: After the Azure Moon Sets [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, F/M, Happy Ending, Post-Blue Lions Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25184125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePM/pseuds/ThePM
Summary: The war is over, and Dedue must reconcile his dreams with his duty.Potential spoilers for Azure Moon route.
Relationships: Mercedes von Martritz & Dedue Molinaro, Mercedes von Martritz/Dedue Molinaro, Mercedes von Matritz & Dedue Molinaro
Series: After the Azure Moon Sets [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817989
Comments: 11
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

The day after Dedue’s return to Garreg Mach, he went to the greenhouse to clear his mind. Dimitri’s state was worse than he’d expected. He shouldn’t have stayed away so long. Now he had to figure out what to do next, how best to help.

Dedue opened the greenhouse door. Gone were the vast majority of the flowers, replaced by crops and medicinal herbs. His gut clenched. Were the flowers from Duscur…?

He hurried over to the corner where the plants from his homeland grew. Still there, and well-tended. A small miracle, considering few people knew how to care for them. Thank the gods and goddesses. They were one of the few things that remained of Duscur, now that it was gone.

He nodded to himself and removed his jacket, having left his armor back in his room. The watering cans and tools were where he remembered. Soon, he was tending the crops and the herbs. He would save the Duscur vegetation for last.

Dedue was so absorbed in his work that he almost startled when Mercedes appeared next to him and began to stir compost into the soil.

“Hello.” Mercedes gave him a soft smile. “It’s good to have you back. I’ve missed you.”

“Thank you.” In truth, he’d missed her, too. He’d enjoyed their conversations before the war, the way it was easy to work and relax around her.

The scent of damp soil comforted him, and he lost himself in the task. Gardening took him away from his worries and transported him someplace peaceful. It was similar to how he felt when cooking, mending clothes, or doing housework.

“I love baking and sewing, but there’s something meditative about gardening,” Mercedes said. “I suppose it’s because it connects me to nature and grounds me the way those other things don’t.”

Dedue glanced at her and nodded. It was strange to hear his thoughts echoed so perfectly by another. As usual, she seemed content with his response.

He moved to the Duscur plants at last. Mercedes accompanied him, smiling down at the little patch.

“When I returned to the monastery and saw these had lived,” she said, “it gave me hope that you had survived, too.”

Something clicked inside Dedue’s head. “You were the one who preserved these plants?”

Mercedes blushed.

“Thank you,” he said.

“I know how much they mean to you.” Her mouth curved in a sweet smile. “And you were the one who showed me how to care for them, after all. Please, don’t let me get in the way.”

Dedue nodded and set down the watering can. One of his sleeves slid over his forearm, and he rolled it up again. Tiny weed sprouts appeared between the plants. It always baffled him how weeds could find their way into the building despite no open windows.

Mercedes sat on the stone ledge a few feet away, hands folded in her lap. “I can’t tell you how happy I am you’re all right. I’ve missed our talks.”

Dedue grunted. She’d always done most of the talking. But he was content to listen. When he had something to say, she always paid rapt attention. He wasn’t sure what about him fascinated her—she didn’t exoticize him, and her interest in his culture seemed genuine.

“The way you move…” A crease formed between her brows. “Are you in pain?”

He closed his eyes for a moment, banishing the memory of how he sustained his injuries. “Sometimes. My countrymen did the best they could.”

Dedue stood and brushed off his knees. A muscle in his hip spasmed, but he suppressed the wince. When he turned, Mercedes stood next to him. She always seemed so dainty in his memory he was surprised to find she came up to his shoulder.

“I could try to ease your pain,” she said.

“Thank you, but I have a liniment.”

“Let me try. Please?”

“Very well.”

Dedue sat on the stone ledge. Mercedes drew near, the scent of lavender wafting toward him as she moved. She placed her hand on his shoulder. Her skin was cool through the fabric of his shirt.

“Your hand.” He covered it with his own before he realized what he was doing.

Color flooded Mercedes’s cheeks. “I’m sorry my hands are cold.”

He shook his head. That was not his objection at all. Despite the chill of her fingers, a warmth spread through him, as if he had stepped from shadow into sunlight. Being around Mercedes calmed his worries.

Mercedes cast a healing spell. His people were not adept in magic like those of Fódlan, but they had done the best they could with his injuries. Old wounds knit as her magic flowed through him, and the pain in his back, hips, and knees vanished. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you. For the healing and for protecting the plants,” he said.

“It was the least I could do.” Her hand remained on his shoulder. “I truly did miss you. I prayed every day that you were all right. I even prayed to the Duscur gods you and I talked about.”

“Hmm.” The corner of his mouth curled up.

The pink in Mercedes’s cheeks deepened. “Now that you’ve returned to us, do you think we could spend a little more time together?”

“I would like that.” Dimitri was his first priority, but he recognized that His Highness had gone someplace so deep he could not be reached. The best Dedue could do was stand by his side until he regained his senses. Perhaps once Dedue would have been alone in his task, but now Dimitri was surrounded by those who loved him. Dedue had learned that in order to care for Dimitri, he needed to care for himself, at least a little.

“Excellent,” Mercedes began, beaming.

Gods and goddesses, she was beautiful, even more so when she smiled.

Thunder split the air, making her jump. She stumbled, and he leaped to his feet and caught her before she could fall. Her body pressed the length of him, warm and soft and feminine. Heat raced through him at the feel of her bosom against his chest.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Mercedes said, hands resting on his shoulders. His arms had encircled her. She was steady on her feet, but he did not let go. Did not want to.

She blinked up at him, violet eyes wide. Slowly, she raised her hand and traced the scars on his face. He closed his eyes, a shiver running through him as her fingers caressed the remains of old wounds.

“I wish I could have been there to help you,” she murmured.

“You have helped me greatly.”

She hesitated before stroking the scar crossing his lip. Dedue had a sudden urge to catch her finger in his mouth but managed to refrain. They stood like that as the rain pelted the roof of the building, silent, gazing into each other’s eyes. Her waist felt very small in his arms. It was difficult not to hold her tighter.

Dedue clenched his jaw. Had he no shame, taking advantage of one who had helped him? Here he stood, thinking about her lips and breasts when all she’d ever been was kind to him.

He released her and began to put the gardening implements away. Mercedes assisted in silence, but she kept stealing glances at him. When they were finished, he picked up his jacket and held it over her head.

Mercedes tried to wave it away. “Oh, don’t worry about me. My room is nearby.”

“Even so,” he replied.

He opened the door and revealed a downpour.

“Should we just stay here?” she asked, eyeing the rain.

“I must attend Dimitri.”

“Oh! Of course. Don’t let me keep you.”

Dedue held his jacket over her head as they sprinted for her room. As she had mentioned, the distance was short, but he was soaked by the time they reached her door. His shirt stuck to him like a second skin. Mercedes paused in front of her room, her gaze lingering on his torso.

“Your hair,” he said.

Her hand went to the nape of her neck.

“Short hair suits you,” he said.

Mercedes beamed. “Thank you. I like your hair, too. It shows off your handsome features.”

His ears heated. No one had ever called him handsome before. He had never expected anyone to, especially now he was so scarred.

“You’re adorable when you blush,” she said with a giggle.

“I am accustomed to people seeing me as a man of Duscur rather than just a man.”

“I see you as a man. A strong, gentle, kind man.”

He wondered how she would react if he put his arm around her waist again and pulled her close. If she would let him kiss her.

“Don’t forget,” Mercedes said as she opened her door and handed him his jacket. “You said we’d spend time together.”

The opportunity to reach for her had passed. It was just as well. He enjoyed her company, and that was enough. Better to focus on helping Dimitri.

“I promise,” Dedue said. He never broke his promises.


	2. Chapter 2

The months passed, bloody battles alternating with weeks spent repairing the monastery with friends. Dimitri began to show signs of improvement as time went on, and Dedue allowed himself to feel hopeful.

Mercedes’s gentle kindness helped, of course. They often ended up on cooking duty together, and the chef had let them take on more and more responsibilities for the meal. Dedue prepared the main dish and Mercedes made the desserts. Dedue had praised her skill, Mercedes had told him they made a good team, and they found comfort in the kitchen and in each other’s company.

Dedue stood next to Mercedes at the stove, preparing dinner. It was their final evening meal in Garreg Mach’s dining hall before they marched in the morning. Soon, one way or another, it would all be over.

“And this goes in now?” Mercedes asked, holding the spice jar aloft.

Dedue nodded. “Just a pinch. Let it bloom only for a moment before you add the other ingredients.”

She nodded and sprinkled the spice into the pan. The aroma filled Dedue’s nostrils, reminding him of his childhood, but it was the pleasure on Mercedes’ face that made him smile.

Dedue stilled as Mercedes’ shoulder brushed his arm. A glance at her expression did not reveal whether it was intentional or not. But Mercedes was not a flirtatious woman, so it was most likely accidental. He returned his attention to the pot of soup he was stirring.

Then her arm made contact with his again, only this time it was a steady pressure as she leaned into him. His ears began to burn, but he forced himself to look at her. “Are you all right?”

“No, to be honest,” she said with downcast eyes.

“Do you need to sit down?”

Mercedes shook her head. “Tomorrow we begin the march for Enbarr. This whole thing just feels wrong, somehow, even though I know it’s necessary.”

Dedue nodded. “I understand.” He cleared his throat, face heating. “I know we will see each other between now and the battle, but I wish for you to be careful during the fight. I must remain with His Highness to best defend him, but perhaps you could stay nearby.”

“Oh, Dedue.” Mercedes looked up at him with a smile. “Are you offering to defend me, too?”

He worked his jaw for a moment, the heat in his face intensifying. “Yes.”

Mercedes’s eyes widened, and she blushed.

“Is that acceptable to you?”

“Yes,” she replied. “I will do my best.”

Dedue nodded, and silence fell between them. They were often quiet together, but it was never an awkward silence. It was not something he could say of many people. He was always pleased when he was on duty with her.

While the people in the dining hall ate meat pies flavored with Duscur spices, Mercedes taught Dedue her secret for making honey cakes particularly wonderful—a bit of lavender. Rationing proved no barrier to her baking skill. Her economy and creativity were admirable. The traits reminded him a bit of his mother and sisters.

The thought struck him so hard, he nearly dropped the baking sheet he was removing from the oven. Mercedes felt like family. Not in a sisterly sort of way. Yet he had done nothing to explore those feelings, to see if she felt the same, and now the final battle was upon them.

Dimitri needed him, now more than ever. But perhaps it would not be wrong to indulge in a little selfishness, not on the eve of their departure.

When the cakes were all out of the oven and the cleaning crew had taken over, Dedue approached Mercedes as she hung up her apron. His heart beat faster, his palms inexplicably damp.

“Mercedes,” he said.

She smiled that soft, gentle smile that made something inside him bubble over. “We’ve been friends long enough for you to call me Mercie.”

“Mercie. It is a lovely evening. Would you care for a walk?”

The bridge of her nose turned pink. “I would be delighted. Will there be a cup of tea and honey cake at the end of the walk?”

“If you wish.”

“Excellent.”

Dedue offered her his arm, and she took it. Her touch was firm and gentle. His arm accidentally brushed the side of her chest, which made his ears burn all the more. She did not seem to notice. Besides, she was safe with him. He would never take advantage.

They strolled in silence around the monastery, stopping to admire the way the flowers looked in the evening light. Mercedes gave his arm a squeeze, and he covered her hands with his free one. She held him more closely still after that. The warmth inside him continued to grow until he thought he must glow like the sun. Embarrassing, but somehow pleasant.

“Let us rest for a moment,” he said, mostly to distract himself from the way she felt against him. A bit of space might clear his head, but he wasn’t yet ready to take her back for tea.

They found a bench and sat. Dedue’s spine remained stiff, and his hands curled into balls on top of his knees. Mercedes scooted close to him. Her violet scent wafted through the evening. She scooted closer and closer and finally rested her head against his shoulder. The desire to put his arm around her grew so intense it was nearly painful. As much as he wanted to touch her, it wouldn’t be fair. His life was not his own.

“Will you still stay with Dimitri after the war?” Mercedes asked, gazing at the sky. The sunset painted the clouds orange and pink.

“I will.”

She looked up at him. “Is that your duty, or your dream?”

Dedue frowned. “In doing my duty, I hope to fulfill my dream.”

“Which is…?”

“To help the people of Duscur. His Highness has promised to try to restore relations once he takes the throne.”

“That’s a wonderful dream. I want to help people, too.”

Dedue nodded. “You are good at it. People respond well to you.”

“Do you? Respond well, I mean?”

Dedue’s gaze whipped down to her face. Mercedes’s smile teased, but the look in her eyes held something else.

“I appreciate your kindness and perseverance,” he said slowly. “Your patience is inspiring.”

A laughed escaped her. “I could say the same about you.”

“You do not find me intimidating?”

She shook her head. “As I’ve said before, you’re very handsome.”

Dedue swallowed, fists clenching on his thighs. His cheeks burned, and his entire body felt tight. He shouldn’t do it, but he couldn’t help himself. Perhaps it was all right to give himself another little gift on the eve of war.

“I have sworn to serve Dimitri for as long as he wishes,” he said, voice rough. “Though it be for the rest of my life, I will serve him gladly. Knowing that, may I still put my arm around you?”

Mercedes smiled. “Please do.”

Dedue’s heart slammed against his ribs, its beating so loud he was sure she must hear it. He slowly put his arm around her and pulled her close. She fit into his side perfectly, as if they were separate pieces of the same sculpture.

“Does serving Dimitri stop you from having other friendships?” Mercedes asked, voice even softer than usual.

“No.” Dedue took a deep breath. Was she asking what he thought she was? “But other relationships must always come second. It is unfair. I could not ask it of anyone.”

“But if they gave it freely, even understanding the situation?”

“I am not a strong enough man to stop wanting them near.”

“You’re one of the best, strongest men I know.”

Sparks rushed through Dedue as Mercedes rested her hand on his leg, near his knee. It seemed a chaste gesture. His body did not respond in a chaste manner. He would still serve Dimitri gladly, but perhaps that was no longer all he wanted. Despite himself, he pulled Mercedes against him even more tightly and savored the feel of her combined with the beautiful, peaceful evening. This was a night to tuck away in his memory and treasure always.

“I’ve changed my mind,” Mercedes said after a moment. “Let’s skip the tea and cake. I would rather stay like this for a while longer. Is that all right with you?”

“Yes.”

They sat there until the sun set, until the stars appeared in the sky, until Mercedes began to shiver. No matter how wonderful it was to have her near, her comfort was more important. He stood and offered her his arm. “Shall I escort you back to your room?”

Mercedes sighed. “All right.”

The walk back to Mercedes’s room was both too short and too long. Too short because there was never enough time with Mercedes, and too long because it gave him time to think.

When they arrived, Dedue released her arm. But his hand found a way to hold hers, almost of its own accord. They gazed into each other’s eyes for a long moment. He tried to burn it into his mind, so that he might savor it always.

Mercedes’s hand came up, and her fingers traced one of the scars on his face. Dedue shuddered and closed his eyes. His skin felt electric where she touched him. He wanted more, suddenly, than he would ever have a right to.

“Do you think I could help heal the scars inside you?” Mercedes whispered.

Dedue leaned into her touch. “You have already helped.”

“I want to do more.”

He took her hand in his and gently removed it from his face. She did not pull away. Instead, she held his hands tighter. He kissed the knuckles of one of her hands, then the other, her skin smooth beneath his lips.

“You are so good, so kind, so beautiful,” he murmured. “You deserve someone who can give you all of themselves, who can make you the center of his world. I am not that man.”

When their eyes met, hers glistened with unshed tears. Her brow furrowed, and her lips parted. Her pain hurt far more than his own.

“Promise me you’ll take care,” he said.

“I promise.” Her voice wavered as she spoke. “But I also won’t let anything happen to you. Don’t forget, we agreed to go to Duscur together when the war is over. We both need to live at least that long.”

“So we do. Good night.”

Dedue gave into his weakness, leaned down, and kissed her silky cheek, as near her mouth as he dared. Her sharp intake of breath reached his ears. Before she could reach for him, he turned and strode back into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Mercedes waited at the castle entrance, twisting her sweaty hands in front of her. Four months had passed since Dimitri had been crowned. Four months since she had last seen Dedue. It had taken her a little while to get settled in Fhirdiad and even longer to gather her courage to visit the castle, but the promise she had made was more important than her fear.

The gate guard looked her up and down. “And your name?”

“Mercedes von Martritz, here to see Dedue Molinaro.” Her heart thrummed like a hummingbird inside a cage. She should have expected castle security to be tight.

Distaste flickered across the guard’s face. Something hot snapped inside Mercedes’s chest.

“Dedue saved His Majesty’s life on more than one occasion,” she said.

“She’s right, you know. I’ve learned prejudice has no place in King Dimitri’s court. You’d best let her in,” a familiar voice said. A blonde head came into view.

Mercedes grinned and rushed forward. “Ingrid!”

“L-Lady Gautier,” the guard said, saluting.

“I’ll vouch for her,” Ingrid said, taking Mercedes’s arm. The armor made it awkward. “As you were, soldier.”

Mercedes glanced over her shoulder at the flustered guard. “I’m so lucky you passed by. I hope I’m not inconveniencing you.”

“It’s worth it to see you. I was just on my way to meet Sylvain at our town house, but he can wait.”

Mercedes took in the sight of her friend. Ingrid appeared strong and happy and healthy, which lifted Mercedes’s spirits. “And how is Sylvain?”

“Fine.” Ingrid tried and failed to stifle a smile. “The same as always. His father’s not well, so he may be taking on Margrave duties sooner than expected. My time as a knight might be brief.”

“Nonsense! Dimitri will just release you into Sylvain’s service.”

Ingrid snorted. “I’m not sure Sylvain will want me to put myself in danger for his sake.”

“Maybe not, but I just know he’ll respect your dream. You might find him on the battlefield next to you.”

Ingrid’s smile widened. “That does sound like him, doesn’t it? In the meantime, he’s been making connections with people he hopes can improve our agricultural yields. Soil management, crop synergies, things like that.”

“Sounds…interesting?”

Ingrid laughed and led Mercedes from the courtyard into a corridor. Their boots echoed on the polished stone.

“Sylvain seems to find it interesting,” Ingrid said. “I think I’ll let him summarize it for me.”

They chatted about their friends as they walked the halls. The castle hadn’t been completely restored after the battle so many months ago, but Dimitri’s staff had gone a long way toward putting his touch on the place. Banners emblazoned with his coat of arms hung on the walls, and plush blue carpets graced the floors of some of the rooms they passed. The lanterns on the wall were polished to a high shine. Even the air smelled fresh, like clean laundry and hope.

“Dimitri’s in audiences for a while, and Dedue will be with him,” Ingrid said as she guided Mercedes into a sitting room. “Make yourself comfortable. I’d stay, but I really should be getting home before Sylvain comes searching for me. For someone who was so irresponsible as a youth, he fusses like a mother hen now.”

Mercedes shook her head. “Don’t worry about me. Thank you for everything. It was so good to see you again.”

“Likewise.” Ingrid paused at the door. “It feels strange to be apart, doesn’t it? After so long together…”

“It does. I miss everyone, but having Fódlan at peace is worth it. I hope we see each other again soon.”

Ingrid threw Mercedes a last smile over her shoulder and departed. Mercedes gazed for a moment at the door, sending a quick prayer for Ingrid’s continued happiness to the goddess, and turned her attention to the room. Bookshelves lined one wall, many appearing to have been read. A circular table covered with a blue tablecloth sat in the center of the room surrounded by four chairs with blue velvet cushions trimmed in white. One of the walls held a painting, fireplace, and another door. The large window on the remaining wall looked out upon a private courtyard. Mercedes wandered to the glass. Outside lay a small garden, impeccably kept. She recognized very few of the plants. What a lovely little retreat.

A servant brought her tea, a bowl of sliced apples, and a few cookies before departing again. Mercedes sat at the table and took advantage of the refreshments while she waited. Then she perused the titles on the bookshelf. She looked out the window again. Time dragged on. She pulled one of the volumes off the shelf and began to read. The shadows in the garden grew longer.

Mercedes must have become absorbed in the book, because the sound of the door opening startled her. She jumped out of the chair and stood with her hands clasped, ready to greet her king.

It wasn’t Dimitri who entered the room. The breath caught in her throat at the sight of familiar white hair and stern face.

“Dedue!” In her excitement, she said it far more loudly than she meant to.

Emotions flickered over his face too quickly for her to catch, his expression finally settling in a slight frown. He made no move toward her. The smile slipped from Mercedes’s face.

“Mercedes.” Despite his distant tone, his deep voice rumbled in her bones. “I am sorry to keep you waiting.”

She twisted her hands in front of her. “You didn’t know I was here, did you?”

“I did not.”

“Well,” she said, trying to keep her voice light, “I hope I’m not keeping you from important business.”

Dedue said nothing as he stared at her.

Mercedes’s knees threatened to buckle. It felt like a fist squeezed her heart. “I know you said goodbye, but the war’s over and we still haven’t gone to Duscur. I thought it was a promise.”

His brow furrowed. He took a step forward, mouth opening.

Mercedes broke before he could speak. She closed the distance between them and slid her arms around him. He stiffened in her embrace. Then, slowly, his arms closed around her. She thought she felt him bury his nose in her hair and inhale.

“If you want me to leave, I will,” she whispered against his chest.

“It does not matter what I want.”

Mercedes pushed away from him and fixed his gaze with hers. “Have you tried talking to Dimitri?”

Dedue’s lips thinned, and he looked away.

“Would you mind if I spoke with him?”

Dedue shook his head. “I am not a coward.”

“I never thought you were, or at least I’m not one to judge. It took me weeks to build up the courage to come here.”

The faintest of smiles crossed his face, and to her it was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud.

“You have always been brave,” he said.

Mercedes laid her head against Dedue’s chest and closed her eyes. His heart beat slow and steady. Maybe he was right, maybe she was brave. After all, she had come here and been the one to hug him. That he hugged her back made her heart soar.

“May I stay and visit for a while, or do you need to go?” she asked.

“Please, stay. Dine with me. His Majesty is otherwise engaged and has dismissed me for the evening.”

She smiled up at him. “It would be my pleasure. Although I would rather cook with you.”

“Ah.” His eyes lit up. “I have missed that also. I believe that can be arranged.”

Mercedes spent the rest of the evening in a lovely haze. She and Dedue cooked together, ate together, and then returned to the sitting room—she’d learned it was part of his personal quarters—for a cup of tea. A warmth that did not come from her beverage suffused her as she gazed at the man next to her.

“I love hearing you talk about Duscur,” she said with a sigh as she replaced her cup in its saucer.

The slight smile Dedue had worn throughout the evening faded. “You are one of the few.”

“I don’t believe it. If people knew more about it…”

Dedue shook his head.

Mercedes brushed the back of his hand with her fingers. “I don’t want Duscur’s culture to be lost. I truly want to help. Please. I know we can do it.”

“You are too good.” He caught her hand and held it.

They sat, gazing at each other in the candlelight. Mercedes’s head spun, giddy. She could look into his eyes forever.

“It is too soon,” Dedue said after the long silence. “His Majesty’s reign is still too new, too fragile. Perhaps once the kingdom is stable.”

Mercedes tightened her grip on his hand, trying not to get distracted by how large and strong it was. “That’s all right. It will give me time to put together the materials.”

Dedue raised an eyebrow.

“I was thinking, what if we started a school? Combined with a sort of cultural center? We can give cooking demonstrations, and we can teach Duscur history and culture in classes. But it will take a while to put together the texts and lessons, let alone find a location.”

Dedue frowned, gaze turned inward, but she knew he was considering it.

“You won’t even have to do much,” she said, warming to the idea. She could almost see the place, decorated in the style of his homeland, whatever that might turn out to be. “We can sit together whenever you have a free evening. You can tell me all you know, and I’ll write everything down. It will be even better once we go on our journey.”

Dedue met her eyes. “Why put forth so much effort for this?”

Heat flooded Mercedes’s face. “I want to help correct a wrong. Not just because it’s the right thing to do, but because I care about you. Because I want to be part of your life, no matter how small.”

“There is nothing small about the way I feel about you.”

Mercedes went lightheaded, her heart jumping into her throat. Her lips parted, but no words came out.

“It is getting late,” he said, standing. “Let me take you home.”

Mercedes longed to stay, but her traitorous mouth said, “All right.”

She took Dedue’s arm and allowed him to lead her through the castle’s corridors. Her surroundings fell away, all her attention focused on the man at her side. The rest of the world no longer existed. They arrived at the stables, where a massive gray horse was saddled. Dedue mounted and pulled her up. Her skirts wouldn’t allow her to sit astride, so she settled into his lap. Mercedes was not a small woman, but Dedue made her feel dainty.

His strong arms closed around her, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. This was what she wanted. His warm breath stirred her hair as he pressed his mouth to the top of her head. Suddenly, she very much wanted his mouth on hers. She sent a prayer to the goddess to help her be patient.

The ride seemed to take no more than an instant, and they arrived at her door all too soon. She slid down, and he dismounted after her. They stood on her stoop. He smiled down at her, expression soft.

“You’re so handsome, especially when you smile,” she said.

“You give me hope.”

“May I call upon you tomorrow?” she asked.

Dedue leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Please do.”

She stole one last embrace before he retreated to his horse. He watched until she went inside, and she hurried to the window and waved at him as he disappeared into the dark. Her gaze followed him down the street long after he was out of sight.


	4. Chapter 4

Dedue found it almost impossible not to rush through the corridors to his quarters when the afternoon meetings were finished, but Dimitri’s presence required proper decorum.

“Please walk next to me,” Dimitri said.

“You are my king.”

Dimitri sighed. “I am aware. I get a crick in my neck trying to talk to you over my shoulder.”

“My apologies.”

Dedue fell in step—too eagerly, for he nearly passed his liege.

Dimitri smiled. “In a hurry?”

Dedue clenched his jaw as his cheeks burned.

Dimitri stopped and looked Dedue in the eye. “Do you have feelings for her?”

“I am ever your loyal servant,” Dedue replied.

Dimitri sighed and glanced at his other guards. “You two are dismissed for the evening.”

“But, Your Majesty—" one began.

Dimitri dismissed them with a wave of his hand. “Ingrid and the other knights have security locked down. Besides, I’ll be with Dedue and Mercedes. You know how Dedue is, and Mercedes is one of the most talented healers I know.”

He waited while the two guards bowed and left. Then he looked at Dedue again. “I know you’re loyal, more than I have ever asked for. I’m telling you that what you perceive as your duty and what you might want for yourself aren’t mutually exclusive.”

Dimitri put his hand on Dedue’s shoulder. “Any debts between us are long since paid. We’re practically family. Just as you wish for my happiness, I wish for yours. If you love her, be with her.” His expression grew somber, his gaze faraway. “You never know how much time you have left with the ones you love.”

Dedue nodded, pressure building in his chest. Was it hope? Anticipation? Regardless, Dimitri was right—the situation was unsustainable. At the very least, the conflict distracted him from his duties.

“Come on,” Dimitri said. “We mustn’t keep her waiting.”

When they arrived at his quarters, Dedue knocked once before entering. He swung the door open to reveal Mercedes standing up from her chair, where she’d been reading a book. Her face lit up when she saw him, as if they were the only two people in the world. She took two steps toward him before she noticed Dimitri.

“Oh, Dimitri!” She grinned then grew flustered. She dropped into a curtsy. “I mean, Your Majesty.”

Dimitri shook his head. “Just Dimitri, please. You’ve saved my life too many times for us to stand on formality.”

Dimitri opened his arms, and Mercedes smiled as she hugged her king. Dedue itched to take her into his arms next. Instead, he took her hand and led her back to the table. She squeezed his fingers before she let go. Her eyes shone as she smiled. Dedue couldn’t help smiling in return.

Dimitri chuckled. “That clinches it,” he said. “Dedue’s smiled more in the last two minutes than he has all week.”

Dedue sat next to Mercedes, ears growing hot.

Mercedes put her hand on Dedue’s knee underneath the table, the action obscured by the tablecloth. “I’m happy if he’s happy.”

Dedue’s face joined his ears in burning.

“It is so good to see you, Mercedes. Tell me, what have you been up to?” Dimitri asked.

Dedue heard little of their conversation—he was too engrossed in studying the woman next to him. Every little gesture she made was pleasing. He enjoyed the sound of her laugh. The feeling of her soft body in his lap last night on the ride home had stayed with him and made for a restless evening. The thoughts seemed impure, but he wanted to know her on a more intimate level. To touch more of her and be touched by her.

How to tell her he was in love with her? He couldn’t take for granted that she already knew.

“And I think I could truly help the people of Duscur,” Mercedes said, the mention of his birthplace snapping Dedue out of his thoughts. “I promise I won’t come between Dedue and his duties. Except perhaps to have him take me to visit his homeland.”

Dimitri smiled. “You will have the full support of the crown. We must make amends to the people of Duscur. When your plans are in place and you know what you will need in the way of funding, let us speak of this again.”

“Thank you, Dimitri.” Mercedes beamed at Dedue, and he returned her smile.

A bell sounded outside the room, the door opened, and in streamed servants bearing trays. They quickly set the table and departed. Dedue uncovered the food. A salad of greens, onion gratin soup, and saghert and cream for dessert. He took a bite of salad and chewed. It seemed fine, no poison.

His head snapped toward Mercedes as she took a spoonful of soup and tasted.

“What are you doing?” he asked, more sharply than he intended.

She gave him a knowing look. “Exactly what you’re doing. Dimitri can’t taste well, can he? But I don’t want you to get poisoned, either.”

Dimitri broke out in laughter, making Dedue startle.

“What’s so funny?” Mercedes asked.

“You two are far more alike than I first thought,” Dimitri said. “I should have a kitchen installed in my apartments and have only a friend cook for me.”

“Flayn and the rest of the Church envoy will be here in three weeks,” Dedue said. “I am sure she would be happy to cook for you. Until then, I will prepare all your food personally.”

“I would love to help,” Mercedes said.

Dedue allowed himself the fantasy of cooking with Mercedes every day, preparing meals for Dimitri. Somehow, in his imaginings, children also sat at the table. His children. His hands stilled in the middle of portioning out the soup.

“That’s a wonderful idea,” Dimitri said. “But for it to work, you’ll need to take up residence in the castle. Dedue, would you be so good as to work out the details with Mercedes?”

“Of course,” Dedue said. Mercedes would be within reach at all hours. The room was suddenly far too warm. Sweat pricked his underarms. His love for her was pure, but it was not chaste.

They ate their meal, rang for wine, then rang for tea and cake. Dimitri and Mercedes talked and laughed, and Dedue basked in the atmosphere. It was the most relaxed he’d seen Dimitri in a while, and all moments spent with Mercedes were good ones. Perhaps he should make a note to ensure more former Blue Lions visited frequently. Dimitri seemed at his best when his friends were around. The gods knew the king would need all the support he could get in the coming months.

“My goodness, look at the time,” Mercedes said hours later. “I should get going.”

Dimitri frowned. “You’re right, it’s quite late. I’m not sure travel is advisable at this time of night. I suggest you stay here. Dedue, will you ensure Mercedes is made comfortable?”

Dedue bowed with a nod, careful to keep his expression from revealing the storm suddenly brewing inside him.

Dimitri hugged Mercedes one last time, kissed her on the cheek, smirked at Dedue, and left the room.

For the first time, the silence between Dedue and Mercedes became uncomfortable.

Dedue clenched his jaw. He couldn’t offer to take her home, not after what amounted to an order from his king. That the order was given for Dedue’s own benefit mattered little. Mercedes wore a wistful expression on her face, although he could not tell what she wanted. He could barely tell what _he_ wanted.

No, that was a lie. He knew exactly what he desired.

“Mercie.” He hadn’t intended to say her name like a prayer, but it came out that way. “Would you consider staying here for the night?”

Her eyebrows rose. “Here? In your quarters?”

“Let me give you a tour.”

He opened the door to his bedchamber. A four-poster bed with curtains sat in a corner, big enough for two of him. The fireplace stood in the wall opposite. An armoire, chest of drawers, washstand, and writing desk stood against the walls. The bedroom’s window looked out upon the same small courtyard as his sitting room. Flowers sat in a vase on the desk. He enjoyed fresh-cut flowers, but now he hoped the touch didn’t seem as if he had been trying to anticipate her presence.

“This is the washroom.” The small chamber adjacent to his bedroom held a bathtub and a privy closet. The tub was also big enough for two of him. Another washstand stood against the wall. A lone window high in the wall would be the only source of daylight come morning.

Mercedes wore a dazed expression on her face, hands folded in front of her.

“It is not much,” he said.

“It’s so…luxurious.” She looked around with wide eyes. “But I suppose it _is_ in a castle.”

“It is certainly the nicest place I have ever lived. Although I have not yet had time to read all of the books.”

“I appreciate what a tidy housekeeper you are.”

“Thank you.” He cleared his throat, insides buzzing. “You may take the bed.”

“And where will you sleep?”

“The floor.”

“Would you…” She twisted her hands in front of her, cheeks red. “I can’t let you sleep on the floor after you’ve been such a gracious host. The bed looks more than big enough for two.”

His mouth dropped open, and a fire ignited low in his belly.

“N-no, that’s not what I meant!” She waved her hands frantically, although he couldn’t tell if she was dismissing her previous comment or fanning herself. “I j-just thought it might be more comfortable. Warmer. And I think I would feel safer in an unfamiliar place if you were next to me.”

“Yes,” he said, voice thick. It was a miracle he could speak at all. “I would like that. Let me find you something to wear.”

Dedue pulled out two nightshirts, heart slamming against his ribs. Mercedes took one and disappeared into the washroom. He quickly changed into his own nightshirt and was folding his uniform when Mercedes emerged. The shirt was far too large for her, gaping at the neck, but even so, it did a poor job of concealing her curves. He began to run through training exercises in his mind to distract himself.

“I’m a little nervous,” she said with a laugh. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Nor I.”

Dedue turned down the covers. “Which side would you prefer?”

Mercedes stared at the bed, biting her lip.

“I shall take the outside,” he said after a moment. “You will be warmer that way. Please wake me should you need to use the washroom and I will be happy to move aside.”

Mercedes nodded and climbed into bed while Dedue banked the fire. When he was finished, he pulled out the tie holding his hair back, set it in the bowl on the bedside table, and slid into bed next to her. She had rolled onto her side, her back to him. They lay in silence, his blood roaring in his ears. To have her so close, so inviting, and not touch her was maddening. Not to mention beyond his willpower.

“May I hold you?” he finally whispered.

“Yes,” she whispered back.

Dedue put his arm around her and slowly pulled her close, so that he curled around her. He tucked his fingers between her waist and the mattress. She was so soft, so warm.

“Are you comfortable?” he asked.

“Yes, thank you.”

“Do you know I am deeply in love with you?”

Mercedes spun in his arms, eyes shining in the candlelight. “Do you know that I’m madly in love with you, too?”

Dedue studied her face, committing the moment to memory. His heart filled with light and heat until he thought it might break free from his chest and disappear into the sky.

“It doesn’t bother you that I’m older?” Mercedes asked.

“No.”

Dedue pulled her closer still, until their legs entwined. A thrill through ran his core at the feel of her. She put her hands on his chest. He brushed her nose with his, and she did not pull away. Their breath mingled as he brought his lips close to hers. Still, she did not pull away. Her hands curled into fists, clutching his nightshirt.

Dedue pressed his mouth to hers. Mercedes’s lips were soft as they molded against his. He had never kissed a woman before, but kissing this woman was better than he had ever imagined.

When they broke away, breathless, he realized his hand had slipped to her waist. The swell of her hip rested against his palm.

“Do you remember our conversation in the church before the war?” he asked. “When we spoke of travelling to Duscur?”

“Vividly,” she said, lips grazing his jaw and making him shudder.

“I was not only praying to the god of war, but the goddess of love. I could not admit it to you then. My apologies.”

She shook her head, her fingers tracing his face—running across his brow, down the bridge of his nose, over the curve of his ear. “Sometimes things have to wait for the right time.”

His hand had moved to her thigh before he caught himself. The hem of her nightshirt was so close, and it was all he could do not to bare her skin and caress her.

“I agree,” he said. “I will not take advantage of you tonight. You have my word.”

“And what if I want you to?”

A low sound of need escaped him before he could corral it. “Does your goddess condone such things?”

“The goddess wants us to be happy and is only concerned that such things are done with true love and pure intent. What about the gods of Duscur?”

“Coupling before the giving of vows is forbidden.”

Mercedes blushed and averted her eyes.

“That is only one of many reasons I would like you to trade vows with me,” he said.

Her gaze snapped back to his, her lips parted and eyes wide.

“In Duscur,” he continued, “A couple must commit to a trial year of marriage before they may wed longer term, to ensure they are compatible. They make vows to each other and exchange gifts. Then they may do as they please. At the end of the year, if they still wish it, then they perform the final ceremony.”

“I have no gift for you,” Mercedes whispered.

“You are the gift.” He kissed her again, longer this time. “But you are right, we must obtain tokens to present to one another.”

“Matching ones?”

He smiled. “If you like.”

“And when the year’s over?”

“If it has gone well, we will be married in the manner of Fódlan.”

Mercedes sighed and rested her head in the curve between his shoulder and neck. “That sounds lovely. Will we have children?”

“As many as you like.”

“I adore children.” She yawned.

Dedue kissed her cheeks and forehead as her eyes fluttered closed. He smiled into her hair. Since the death of his family and the loss of his country, there had been a cold ache deep inside him. For the first time in years, he felt whole.


	5. Chapter 5

Mercedes drifted awake, senses filled with the scent of cedar and pine. A brawny arm draped over her, and a warm, solid body curled around hers like she was a pearl inside a shell. A smile curved her mouth as the night before came rushing back. There was nothing so wonderful as knowing her love was returned.

Carefully, she rolled over. Waking Dedue was the last thing she wanted. His stern features relaxed in sleep, his pale hair spread across the pillow. He was the loveliest thing she’d ever seen.

His eyes cracked open, and a tiny smile appeared on his lips. Oh, how she loved that smile!

“Good morning,” he said, his deep voice rumbling in her bones.

She caressed his cheek. “I worried it was a dream.”

“I wonder if I dream still.”

“I want to kiss you, but I have morning breath,” she said with a giggle.

Mercedes gasped as he gripped her by the waist and kissed her. His lower lip slipped into her mouth, and she sucked on it greedily. She tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him to her more tightly. His thigh slid between hers, hard and muscular, and a fire ignited low in her belly. More, she wanted more of him. Passion raged beneath his stoic surface. Let it engulf her.

His hand rucked the fabric of her nightshirt as it ran up her side, stopping just before it reached her chest. She pressed into his callused palm, wishing he wouldn’t stop. How improper of her. But no one was here to know how improper she was but the two of them. Besides, he had told her she was brave. She’d always let others dictate her actions. Perhaps it was time to prove her bravery and take what she wanted.

Mercedes took Dedue’s hand and slowly moved it to her chest.

Dedue moaned, his hips grinding against her. “We should stop,” he said between panting breaths.

She gasped and arched beneath his touch. His lips teased her mouth open, and a low sound left her as his tongue slid along hers. She tugged on his shirt, trying to get to his skin. He broke away from her mouth and planted kisses along her neck. Only the fabric of their nightshirts separated them. She ground against him and scrabbled at his back, mind blank with need, trying to pull him to her.

Dedue jerked away with a gasp. The covers went with him, washing Mercedes with cold air. He moved to the edge of the bed, elbows on knees and head bent so his hair obscured his face.

Mercedes sat up, yanking the nightshirt back down over her hips as she did so, and hid her face in her hands. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be so forward. What must you think of me?”

Dedue’s ribcage heaved as he took gulps of air.

“I’m so, so sorry.” Mercedes slid toward the edge of the bed, cheeks burning. How could she? What sort of woman would he think she was? All she needed to do was get dressed and go. Maybe he would forget about her behavior by the next time they met.

Dedue grabbed her hand, halting her flight to the washroom.

“I think,” he said slowly, “that you are a normal woman with healthy appetites. What I cannot believe is that, of all people, you want me.”

Mercedes stared at him, all thoughts of leaving gone. “But you’re the best man I know.”

“I have done terrible things in His Majesty’s service.”

She sat down on the bed next to him, his hand still folded around hers. “We all did awful things during the war, but we did them to survive. We can accept those parts of us without letting them become all of who we are.”

Dedue raised his head and looked at her. “You are very wise.”

Mercedes laughed and shook her head.

“I mean it.” He leaned over and kissed her, and the flames inside her immediately roared in answer. She opened her mouth to him. Before she knew it, she was in his lap with her arms around his neck.

Dedue broke away and rested his forehead against hers. “I think we had best obtain those gifts today.”

“Should I cancel my lease? I don’t want to presume.”

“I’ll send some soldiers to help you move your things here.”

Her heart leaped in her chest, as if she were running a race and had no chance of losing.

“I will come and fetch you as soon as Dimitri can spare me,” he said. “Please relax here as long as you like. Eat breakfast.”

“May we eat together?”

He smiled and squeezed her tighter. “I’ll send for our meal while you get dressed.”

Mercedes hurried to get ready, wishing she’d brought a toothbrush. Or hairbrush. Her dress was a little rumpled, but not enough anyone would notice. By the time she emerged, Dedue was fully dressed, much to her disappointment. Shame on her. She needed to focus on the tasks ahead. She sent a silent prayer to the goddess for assistance.

They ate in companionable silence, and she sneaked a farewell kiss before practically skipping down the hallway. It felt as if her whole life was expanding before her. A mission where she could truly help people. A man who felt like her perfect match. A new kingdom full of hope for a better life for all, not just the nobility. The possibility of a family of her own. The world had been reborn overnight.

Mercedes spent the morning packing and negotiating the terms of breaking her lease with her landlady. Fortunately, she didn’t have many possessions—the furniture came with the room, and her belongings amounted to a single large trunk. She dragged it downstairs herself then scrubbed the vacant room clean.

After the midday meal, some soldiers arrived to carry Mercedes’s trunk. They also brought funds to help cover the cost of breaking the lease. Once everything was ready, they escorted her back to Dedue’s quarters in the castle. Another armoire had been added to the bedchamber, so she put her belongings inside and pushed the trunk over to the window to serve as a seat. There was still plenty of time left, so she took out a new handkerchief she planned to give to Dedue and did a bit of embroidery.

Dedue arrived a couple of hours later. She rushed to meet him but grew shy as his massive frame came through the door. It felt like welcoming her husband home, but he wasn’t her husband yet. Even so, he smiled at her and tilted her chin up to give her a kiss.

“Shall we go?” he asked.

Mercedes thought of the way his nightshirt stretched taut across the muscles of his chest and nodded.

Dedue’s smile fell away as they walked through the castle. Soldiers saluted him as they moved past, but many did so without enthusiasm, dark looks on their faces. It was even worse when they went out into the city. People looked at him askance despite his uniform. Some even crossed the street when they saw him coming. Others muttered slurs beneath their breaths, just loud enough to hear. A few times she moved to engage them, but Dedue always held her back. Instead, Mercedes held tight to his arm, hoping her presence gave him solace.

“Are you all right?” she asked.

“This is how it has been ever since the Tragedy of Duscur.” He looked down at her, expression like granite. “Are you certain you want to subject yourself to this?”

Mercedes locked gazes with him, willing him to see the love and determination inside her. “We will change this. When we build our school, things will get better.”

Dedue nodded, but his expression didn’t change.

For the first time ever, Mercedes entered the Duscur residential district of Fhirdiad. It was obviously poorer than the rest of the city—the buildings weren’t as well maintained, and there was more refuse in the street. But the scent of foreign spices filled the air, and banners of brightly patterned cloth graced many of the storefronts. Dedue escorted her into a shop with jewelry displayed in trays.

The shopkeeper eyed Mercedes suspiciously, even though she’d done nothing wrong. It hurt. This, she realized, was only a tiny taste of what Dedue had endured for nearly a decade. That he didn’t hate her people for it spoke to the generosity of his heart. It made her love him all the more, even as what he’d been through saddened her.

Dedue bent over the trays without a word. He picked up an earring—the dangling kind, of moderate size—and examined it before moving on. Mercedes looked also while he methodically inspected everything the shop had to offer.

“Do you see anything you like?” he asked her.

“I think I’ll get these earrings.” Mercedes picked up a pair similar to the ones he’d seemed interested in before, only with a different symbol gracing its surface.

“They are not your usual style.”

“These aren’t for just me, remember?”

Dedue grunted and selected a simple gold chain. “Can you convert one of those earrings into a pendant?” he asked the shopkeeper.

The shopkeeper grumbled but did as asked. Mercedes and Dedue split the bill, took their purchases, and left.

“Should we hire a carriage back to the castle?” she asked. “It might be faster, if we need to cook Dimitri dinner.”

To her surprise, Dedue blushed. “I have already arranged his evening meal. Even so, I am eager to return to the castle.”

Mercedes’s own face heated as she realized what he must be thinking. “Then let’s go.”

They clasped hands and left the shop to hail a carriage.


	6. Chapter 6

They successfully hired a carriage, but somehow, she ended up in his lap again, kissing and being kissed. By the time they reached the castle, Mercedes felt like a struck match, burning quickly and brightly. The walk to his quarters seemed to take an age. When they arrived at his door, he opened it, picked her up, and carried her inside.

“What’s next?” she asked as he closed the door and locked it, even though she buzzed with the knowledge of where the night would lead.

Dedue took the jewelry box out of his pocket and put it on the table. “Now we pledge ourselves.”

“Is there anything in particular we need to say?” she asked as she removed the earring from the box.

“You need only finish it with, ‘this I vow upon the gods of our land. May they strike me down if I prove false during the year we are pledged.’ “

Mercedes nodded. She held the earring, its gold shining faintly in the light from the window. The threads of her life gathered around her, ready to be woven with his.

“Dedue,” she said, a lump forming in her throat, “I swear to love you and to care for you. I promise I will help your people and stand by your side. I never want to be without you and look forward to the day you’ll be my husband in the Fódlan tradition. This I vow upon the gods and goddesses of our lands. May they strike me down if I prove false during the year we are pledged.”

Dedue bent his head so she could slip the earring through his left earlobe. His eyes glistened, as if he fended off tears.

“Mercedes,” he said, voice thick, “I will love you and protect you. I will try my best to balance my duty to you with my duty to my king. I thank the gods for you every day and cherish every moment we are together. This I vow upon the gods and goddesses of our lands. May they strike me down if I prove false during the year we are pledged.”

Dedue fastened the necklace around her throat. She rested her fingertips upon the gold disc resting on her chest.

“That’s it?” she asked.

“It is done.”

“A year from now we can be married again?”

“If you still wish it.”

Mercedes nodded and smiled, blinking away tears. Although their covenant hadn’t been an official marriage ceremony in the eyes of the goddess, it felt as momentous as one. Perhaps it was because they’d pledged in accordance with the gods of Duscur. She and Dedue had made their vows, no different from wedding vows, and Dedue never broke his promises. Neither did she.

Dedue frowned at the floor, color staining his cheeks. The silence grew awkward. “Are you hungry?”

Mercedes shook her head. The fluttering of her insides made thinking of food impossible.

He nodded, and she gasped as he swept her off her feet and carried her into the bedchamber. She gripped the fabric of his jacket, her breath coming more quickly. Now that the moment had arrived, her nerves took over.

“You are trembling,” he murmured. “Are you afraid?”

“No, it’s just…I’m not sure what to do.”

“I understand. I admit I do not know how to pleasure you.”

Mercedes smiled up at him as bravely as she could manage. “Then let’s agree to keep our expectations low. And to do our best to improve.”

“Agreed.”

Dedue set her down on the edge of the bed. They gazed at one another for a long moment. Then he began to unfasten the buttons of his jacket.

Heat built under her skin as he shed his jacket, muscles rippling beneath his shirt. He looked at her, gaze hungry. Mercedes stood and approached him. Her fingers shook as she undid the top button of his shirt, but she grew bolder with each button she freed. The bronze expanse of his chest appeared, covered by a smattering of pale hair. He shuddered as she slid her hand beneath the fabric and over his skin. So firm, so warm and smooth between the scars. She slipped the shirt from his shoulders and grazed the top of his chest with her mouth.

“Unfair,” Dedue rumbled. He removed her hat and ran his fingers through her hair. He unbuttoned her sleeves, exposed her wrists, and planted kisses where her pulse beat. She shivered. His fingers traveled up her arm to her throat. His mouth followed. He undid the fastening of her collar, slid the first layer off, and began to unbutton her bodice. He only undid enough fastenings to expose her cleavage and shoulders, his gaze smoldering. Before she knew what was happening, he lay her on the bed, her arms pinned to her sides by her half-removed dress.

A sigh stirred her skin as his lips explored her throat and collarbones. Sparks of pleasure followed his mouth, shooting down her core to between her legs.

“Are you sure you haven’t done this before?” Mercedes asked, a slight tremor in her voice.

“Never.”

Dedue removed her clothes, then his own. He stepped away and began to fold their clothes. A giggle escaped her as she slipped under the covers. She didn’t know many people who would have taken the time to tidy up in this situation.

“I wasn’t laughing at you,” she said when his brow furrowed. ‘It’s just…how strange it is to be in bed before dinner.”

“True.”

Dedue placed the folded clothes on the chest of drawers and turned toward her. He seemed even bigger undressed. Every sculpted muscle was on display, already broad shoulders made massive by years of wielding heavy weapons and wearing armor. The pale hair from his chest continued down to his stomach. Unlike some muscular men, his thighs and calves were proportional instead of skinny, likely from bearing the weight of his fortress armor and from long marches over unforgiving terrain. Her gaze skated across his groin again despite her best efforts. Everything about Dedue was large. Even _that_.

Lighter scars covered his bronzed skin from head to toe, and Mercedes’s heart clenched. Such a map of pain written over his strong, beautiful body. She wanted to kiss those scars and take away any hurt, no matter how old.

Her observations had so consumed Mercedes that she startled when he slid under the covers next to her. She riveted her gaze to the canopy of the bed. They lay, side by side, not touching, although warmth radiated from him. Her heart pounded so loudly she was certain he could hear it.

“You are still trembling,” he said. “We do not have to do this.”

She laughed, but it sounded forced even to her. “It’s more awkward when it’s not spontaneous, don’t you think?”

“We can wait, if you wish. According to my people’s traditions, we are joined now.”

Mercedes nodded. She couldn’t stop shaking, but she couldn’t tell if it was from nerves or need.

“I will just hold you,” Dedue said. “Know that I do not expect anything of you.”

“All right.”

Dedue’s skin slid against hers as his warm, powerful body folded around her. Mercedes immediately melted into his embrace. Where it wasn’t scarred or covered by hair, his skin was surprisingly silky. Tenderness beneath the toughness. That was precisely how she thought of Dedue.

Evening light filtered through the gauzy inner curtains, illuminating his features. Mercedes traced his cheeks, lips, brow, and chin. Her fingers came to rest on the earring she had just given him.

“What does the symbol mean?” she asked.

“It is the symbol of the goddess of love.” His gaze burned as he looked at her. “You are the only woman I will ever love.”

Warmth raced through her body. She rested her hands against his massive chest. The heat inside her changed to lightning as Dedue pulled her closer and kissed her gently. He stroked her back and traced her spine. Something hard pressed against her hip. She ached in response. Oh, goddess.

Dedue must have read her thoughts on her face, for a blush spread across his cheeks. “I desire you. Greatly.”

Before Mercedes could reply, he kissed her again. His lips were still gentle, but this time the kiss carried a passionate urgency. He held her more tightly. She barely had room to free her arm and loop it around his back, where she clutched the slabs of muscle. He was strong, so strong, but she wasn’t afraid. Dedue would never hurt her.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“And I love you.”

It didn’t take them long to find ways to please each other. Joining was uncomfortable at first, but at least it went quickly. They lay, hearts pounding against each other, as the buzzing faded from her body. Finally, he rolled off her and pulled her to him so her head rested on his chest. A soft, lazy smile spread over her mouth as she listened to his heartbeat and played with the hair on his chest.

“Apologies for hurting you,” he said, eyes closed.

Mercedes shook her head. “Only for a moment. You made me feel very, very good, too.”

A smile curved his lips.

“I’m sure we’ll get better at it,” she continued. “We have the rest of our lives, after all.”

“So we do, my love.”

They lay entwined until hunger drove Dedue to fetch food. “I’ve heard of breakfast in bed, but dinner?” Mercedes said with a laugh.

They fed each other the meal, took advantage of his enormous bathtub, and practiced lovemaking again. When it was time to finally fall asleep, Mercedes grinned against Dedue’s shoulder. It was a wonderful thing, to love and be loved, a true gift from the goddess. “Thank you,” she whispered in prayer, and finally dropped off to sleep, looking forward to the rest of her life with her beloved.


	7. Chapter 7

Dimitri pulled Dedue aside and he and Mercedes were leaving for the evening, after Mercedes had already exited the king’s sitting room. “It’s been almost a year, hasn’t it?” Dimitri asked.

Dedue nodded. “A year tomorrow.”

“Have you asked her yet?”

“We agreed upon it at the beginning. It is understood.”

Dimitri chuckled and shook his head. “She’ll still want you to ask her again, you know.”

Dedue stood silent, pondering. Perhaps there was truth in Dimitri’s words.

Dimitri put his hand on Dedue’s shoulder. “Take tomorrow and make the arrangements for the ceremony. Pick out some rings. Then don’t forget to propose before the day’s done.”

“Of course.”

“Good night,” Dimitri said with a smile. “Thank you both again for the delicious dinner.”

Dedue looked down the hall, where Mercedes waited for him. The months had passed in a blur. She was a pleasure in every way—her smile, her laugh, her body, her kindness. Not only had she accompanied him and the king on the battlefield as a healer, she’d ensured they spoke of Duscur frequently and diligently recorded everything he could remember. There were several promising locations in the Duscur district for their school, and Mercedes proved skilled at navigating the appropriate approvals. He could never remember being so happy.

That was why he would heed his friend and master’s words. Based on the weddings of their friends, it seemed a larger, statelier affair than weddings in Duscur. So be it. Anything to make Mercedes happy.

They retired to their bedchamber. Mercedes lit the bedside candle, the soft light illuminating her face. Dedue never tired of being with her, of seeing her. If anything, she had become lovelier over the course of the year. Having her in his life was a blessing beyond measure.

She took off her cap and veil and tossed her head before running her fingers through her hair. Her beauty grabbed his heart and twisted. Before he quite knew what he was doing, he stood behind her and kissed the spot behind her ear that made her quiver.

Mercedes shivered on cue, tilting her head to the side to expose more of her throat. “Already?” she whispered.

“Yes,” he rumbled. “You on top.”

Mercedes blushed, and he smiled against her skin. She was demure, and still sometimes shy, but she never tried to deny her passion. It was wonderful knowing she desired him as much as he did her.

He undid the buttons of her blouse with practiced movements. Mercedes sighed and pressed against him. By the gods of his homeland, this woman fit him in every way.

They disrobed in a frenzy of kisses and tangled on the bed. The past year had provided ample opportunity for them to learn each other’s bodies and how to please one another, and it paid off in spades. His breath came in short bursts as the ecstasy of being one with her overwhelmed him. She uttered a soft cry each time their bodies collided. He loved that no matter how hard she tried to be quiet, she couldn’t help herself.

He flipped her onto her back and rested her ankles on his shoulders. Sometimes they took their time and enjoyed gentle lovemaking. This was not one of those times. He wanted all of her, wanted to give her all of him, wanted to be so close with her that there was no separation between them at all.

Mercedes gripped his arms, her eyes closed and her head thrown back. They moved in perfect unison, reaching their limit and tumbling over simultaneously. Their bodies trembled as they clung to each other.

When the glow had subsided enough for him to be able to think again, he rolled off of her and laid his head on her chest. She stroked his hair, breathing heavy and heart racing. He laced his fingers with hers. They had never finished together before. The moment felt special, sacred somehow.

“Oh, my,” Mercedes said with a sigh.

“I love you.” There was more he wanted to say, but his strength had left him. It was a struggle just to stay conscious.

“I love you, too.”

“Dimitri has given me leave for tomorrow.’

“Won’t the ambassador from Sreng be visiting?”

“Yes, but Sylvain is accompanying him. Ingrid is on duty as well.”

“I see. Where are we going?”

“To make arrangements for our Fódlan-style wedding.”

Mercedes went still.

Cold raced down his spine, waking him fully, and he raised his head to look at her. Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes. He wiped them away with his thumb, brow furrowing. “What is wrong?”

She shook her head. “I’m just so happy. Although I admit I already feel like your wife.”

“I am already your husband, but it is important to honor your people’s traditions.”

Mercedes threw her arms around his neck and buried her head against his chest. He smiled as he stroked her back. She was his joy. As long as they were together, nothing could go wrong.


	8. Chapter 8

The next day, Dedue and Mercedes made their way to a dress shop Dimitri’s tailor recommended as well as a jeweler’s. She bounced on her toes as they walked, eyes alight. He could scarcely believe she was so excited about the prospect of marrying him, of all people. It wasn’t as if they did anything exciting off the battlefield other than make love. They sat by the fire and read together, talked about Duscur, cooked side by side, sewed, or worked in his garden. Sometimes, they just sat in silence, hand in hand, and gazed out the window. Peaceful, yes, and all he wanted out of life, but she burned so brightly it hardly seemed worthy of her talents. She would have been better off a church official, helping the masses instead of his countrymen. He kept his opinions to himself, however.

It turned out they had similar taste in rings. They chose two simple golden bands with a single amethyst inset flush in his band and a few small emeralds inset in hers. They ate lunch and headed back.

On the way to the castle, she kept glancing at him expectantly. It was as Dimitri said—although she knew he wished to marry her in the Fódlan fashion, she still wanted to be asked. His palm began to sweat against hers despite his certainty of her answer. He would ask her tonight, before they retired for the evening. The weather was warm. Perhaps he could persuade her to sit in their garden with him and ask her then.

“I don’t want or need a big to-do,” Mercedes said as they drew near the castle. “Really, I’d just like a small gathering of our dearest friends.”

Which happened to include a king. Dedue nodded his agreement anyway. He’d noticed the dress she’d picked was one that could be worn again for any special occasion. Her practicality, as ever, pleased him greatly.

“Dedue?”

“Yes?” Dedue looked down at Mercedes.

She smiled softly. “It’s far too early to tell, but I think last night was special.”

“Every evening with you is special to me.”

“That’s not quite what I mean.” She rested her hand on her belly and opened her mouth to continue speaking, but they had arrived at the castle. The frantic activity there pulled Dedue’s attention away from her words. A perimeter of soldiers three people deep ringed the entrance, and more soldiers rushed about beyond. Drawn weapons flashed in the sun, accompanied by frantic shouts. Something had happened. Dedue’s heart clenched in his chest, his body suddenly cold.

“Hurry.” Dedue sprinted toward the castle, Mercedes at his heels.

He dashed to the highest-ranking soldier. “Captain, what’s happened?”

“Master Molinaro!” The soldier’s face was pale. “There’s been an assassination attempt on King Dimitri.”

Mercedes gasped behind Dedue. He gripped the captain’s armored shoulders. “Is he all right?”

“H-he’s wounded,” the soldier began, but Dedue didn’t wait to hear more. He barreled through the defensive lines. Mercedes called to him, but he ignored her, all his attention on finding Dimitri. If he had been at his post today instead of gallivanting about with Mercedes…. It was his fault Dimitri was injured. Dedue had failed his king.

Nausea rose within him. Something between a scream and a sob surged up his throat along with the bile, but he choked it down. He should have known he couldn’t be both the consummate bodyguard and a loving husband. This life was not kind to people of Duscur.

“Dedue, wait,” Mercedes called again behind him.

His mind reeled. This had happened because of him, because he had not given his entire self over to his sworn task. The gods were punishing him for his inattention to his duty. If he did not correct course, things would get worse. Next time, Dimitri might die.

But to make it right, to ensure something like this never happened again, he would have to remove distractions.

Distractions like Mercedes.

“We cannot be married,” he said when she caught up, and uttering the words were like carving his heart out. But he had warned her, long ago, that his life was not his own. He should have heeded his own words. “I have failed in my duty because my duty has been divided. I should have realized to fulfill my vow to my king, I must devote my entire self to the task.”

Tears filled Mercedes’s eyes. The pain in her expression hurt him worse than any wound ever had. But the year of their commitment was up. They had tested themselves to see if they could be together forever. He had failed that test and must accept the consequences. If only he didn’t have to hurt her in the process.

“We can talk about this later, when you’re not so upset,” she said, a tremor in her voice. “I would never ask you to shirk your duty to Dimitri.”

“I know. The failing is not with you. It is with me.” He allowed himself to touch her one last time and wiped the tears from her cheeks with this thumb. “I will always treasure the past year with you. I swear I will never love another. But we cannot be together. Goodbye, sweet Mercedes.”

A gasping sob burst from her as he turned and ran through the halls of the castle. He buried his own tears as he went. Time to focus on his service to his king, to be the king’s shield. At least now, only Dedue’s body could perish, because without Mercedes, his heart was already dead.

It didn’t take long to discover that Dimitri was not in the infirmary—it was too crowded. Many soldiers had been injured in the attack. That didn’t bode well. Dedue cursed himself anew.

By the time Dedue reached Dimitri’s quarters, he was sweating and out of breath. The six soldiers stationed outside Dimitri’s door let him in without question. More soldiers ringed Dimitri’s private apartments—two at each door and four at each window. Dimitri lay on his bed, a blood-soaked cloth pressed to his side and abdomen smattered with burns. He was pale but blessedly alive.

“Your Majesty,” Dedue said as he knelt by Dimitri’s bed. “Please forgive me. I have failed you.”

Dimitri turned his head. His hair stuck to his sweaty brow, the skin around his eye tight. “Dedue. You’re supposed to be out planning your wedding.”

“I should have been here.”

“I’m glad you weren’t. If you were, you might have been killed.”

Dedue stood and scowled around the room. “Where is your healer?”

Dimitri waved the comment away. “With Ingrid. Her wounds would have been fatal without immediate attention. I’ll keep for a while longer.”

“But you—”

“Would you rather her die just to spare me some temporary discomfort?”

“You have lost too much blood.”

“I’m the least worthy of us all. You know that.”

“You are the best king we will ever have. We cannot lose you.”

“Dimitri,” a new voice cried.

Dedue’s heart constricted as Mercedes dashed into the room. She shot him a wounded, haunted look before she bent over Dimitri. Her selflessness was just one of the many reasons he loved her.

“Here, let me help,” she said. She spread her fingers, and a green light enveloped Dimitri.

A deep sigh left the king. “That’s much better, Mercie. You have my thanks.”

Mercedes took Dimitri’s hand with a familiarity Dedue envied, for he could never muster the courage to touch his liege. Perhaps she would make a better bodyguard for the king. She was useful in these sorts of situations. All Dedue could do was watch.

“Of course,” she said. “What happened?”

Dimitri scooted up in bed as she initiated another healing spell. “Assassins. Magic users. An entire group, targeting both me and the Sreng ambassador. Ingrid defended me with her life and took out many of them. I helped, but I think we would have died had Sylvain not been there with his spells. I’ve never seen him so angry.”

“He almost lost Ingrid in the war,” Mercedes said, hands glowing with magic. “I remember trying to heal her. And the Sreng ambassador?”

Dimitri smiled. “He’s unscathed. I was injured saving his life, and Sylvain destroyed the assassins left over from Ingrid’s counterattack. I daresay relations between our countries will improve.”

Dedue crossed his arms over his chest. He found nothing amusing about the situation.

Mercedes finished the healing and peeled away the makeshift bandage. Once she washed away the blood, the burns were gone, and his skin was whole. “There,” she said. “The wounds weren’t that bad. Just make sure you get plenty of rest.”

Dimitri shot a pointed look at Dedue. Dedue clenched his teeth.

Mercedes’s brow furrowed. She glanced at Dedue and blinked rapidly as her eyes grew moist. “I think I’ll go see if there’s anything I can do to help the others. Do you know where they took Ingrid?”

“I don’t, unfortunately. Thank you for your help,” Dimitri said.

Mercedes stood and curtseyed. She looked at Dedue. Her imploring gaze was like a dagger in his chest. He hardened his heart and looked out the window. She hurried from the room.

Dimitri got up from the bed and wiped off the rest of the blood using water from his washbasin. Dedue fetched him a comb and fresh shirt.

“What was that about?” Dimitri asked as he pulled on the shirt.

“Mercedes and I will not be getting married.”

Dimitri stopped in the middle of pulling the comb through his hair, his single eye wide as he stared at Dedue. “You broke up with her?”

Dedue nodded, surprised by the tears that pricked his eyes.

“I thought you loved her?”

“I do.” His voice broke on the words.

“Were you not happy together?”

“Very happy.”

“Then why in the world would you do such a thing?”

Dedue pressed his lips together. There were too many guards in the room to speak freely, and Dimitri knew him well anyway.

“You can’t throw your happiness away,” Dimitri said, voice pitched low. “Not for me, not for anyone. I ought to dismiss you just so you have no excuse.”

An icy fist punched Dedue in the chest.

“Don’t look at me like that. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Dedue didn’t relax.

Dimitri waved at the guards. “All of you, you’re dismissed.”

“Your Majesty,” Dedue protested.

“I’m the king, and I’m dismissing all of you. Let everyone know that I’m well, that the Sreng ambassador is well, and that peace talks will proceed as planned.”

The soldiers saluted and marched from the room. Dimitri waited until they were gone and finished combing his hair. “Fetch me a new waistcoat and jacket, please?”

Dedue did as requested. There was comfort in the familiarity of acting as Dimitri’s valet.

Dimitri put them on and buttoned them up, inspecting himself in the mirror with a frown. He still looked a bit pale, but it was a far cry from moments ago. Dedue was grateful Mercedes had followed him, even if he had repaid her by breaking her heart.

He hoped she knew he’d broken his own in the process.

Dimitri sighed and faced him. “I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. And I appreciate your dedication. But I love you, too, and if you had been there today, you would have died. Neither of us can cast spells or do much against ranged magic. Ingrid’s javelin arm and Sylvain’s spells were what saved us today. You likely would have flung yourself in the way and been killed. Do you think that’s what I want? You’re my dearest friend. I want you to be happy.”

“Serving you makes me happy. Perhaps you should consider asking Ashe and Annette to return to Fhirdiad. They both excel at ranged attacks.”

Dimitri crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re not listening. Besides, Ashe and Annette are busy trying to put Gaspard territory back in order.”

“Someday…” Dimitri rubbed his face. “Someday soon, I must marry. An alliance with the church would likely be most beneficial at this point.”

“And when you do, you will not need me,” Dedue said.

“That’s not what I meant. We will both have our work cut out for us during the day, but our personal time should be just that—personal. We are the very best of friends—nothing will ever change that—but we must also be our own people with our own lives.”

Dedue remained silent, hoping Dimitri would take it for assent. He had tried to build a life outside serving his master, and it had almost led to his king’s death. It was his duty to die for Dimitri. He could not fulfill that unless he was constantly at the king’s side.

Dimitri’s gaze swept over Dedue’s face, searching. “You’re a good man. One of the best I know. But that doesn’t mean you don’t make mistakes.”

“I made one today, leaving your side.”

“I meant breaking things off with Mercedes. Do you think finding such a perfect fit is a blessing to be discarded?”

Dedue swallowed the lump in his throat and forced his expression to remain impassive.

Dimitri shook his head and moved toward the door. “I know how tender that heart is beneath your stoic exterior.” He shook his head. “You’ll punish yourself far more thoroughly than anyone else ever could.”

Dedue gazed at the door for several moments after Dimitri left. As much as he hated to admit it, Dimitri didn’t understand. Divided loyalties were as bad as having no loyalty at all. He had made his decision. He did not expect it to be easy or to be thanked for it. It wasn’t even necessarily the right thing to do, although perhaps it was kinder to Mercedes. She was an amazing woman and was sure to find happiness with another man someday.

Dedue crammed his feelings for Mercedes into the dark pit where he kept his grief for his country and family and hurried to catch up with his king.


	9. Chapter 9

Three months passed, gray and colorless. Dedue performed his duties as well as he ever had, or so he liked to think, but his heart had gone cold. The light and life had passed from his existence when he had released Mercedes. It turned out he couldn’t stand to remain in the rooms he had shared with her even though she had cleared out her belongings with alarming rapidity. The wedding rings sat in a box in the back of a drawer in the small room he had taken for his new quarters. He tried to forget about them.

“Go to her,” Dimitri said one night over dinner. “You’re miserable.”

Dedue refused to listen. He had made his choice, and now he had to live with it.

“You’re distracted,” Ingrid said on a different day, during drills. “You might miss a threat to His Majesty.”

Her words had merit, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not find substance in the emptiness of his soul. He returned to his cot every night and stared at the ceiling, sleeping fitfully or not at all, until dawn arrived.

They days bled together. Dedue grew colder, hollower, and yet more focused on Dimitri than ever. His Majesty was all he had left.

The late spring rains began. If he had married Mercedes, they would have departed for Duscur soon, to see the wildflowers in bloom. He would never return to his homeland, not now.

Sylvain pulled him aside one afternoon, during one of his frequent visits to Fhirdiad. “Ingrid’s worried about you. So’s Dimitri.”

“So they have said.” Dedue’s voice sounded hollow even to him.

Sylvain looked him up and down. “Here’s the thing. I always thought you were one of the most decent men I knew. Compared to you, I was always a dirtbag. You’ve disappointed me.”

Dedue frowned.

“I mean, even _I_ wouldn’t have abandoned my baby, not even if I knew the mother got pregnant to trap me for my title and Crest. I was always too careful for that to happen, but still. I wouldn’t have expected that kind of behavior from you.”

Dedue’s scowl deepened. “What are you saying?”

“What am I—?” Sylvain’s eyes widened. “You don’t know.”

“Know what?”

“Oh, shit.” Sylvain swallowed. “Ingrid’s going to kill me.”

Something snapped deep inside Dedue. He curled his fist around Sylvain’s collar and yanked him up on his toes, so that their faces were only inches apart. “Know what?” he said through clenched teeth.

Sylvain gripped Dedue’s wrist. The beginnings of a spell flickered over the redhead’s knuckles, but he didn’t cast. Instead, he locked eyes with Dedue.

“Mercedes is pregnant.”

The words hit Dedue like a punch in the gut. He dropped Sylvain as the corridor reeled around him. His vision wavered. A tremor ran through him, and he took a shuddering breath. A baby. His baby.

“H-how far along?” he asked.

Sylvain ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t know. I heard maybe three months?”

Dedue remembered when one of his aunts was pregnant. The nausea, the vomiting, the food intolerances…. And he had left the woman he loved to endure it all alone. He put a hand on the cool stone wall for support.

His duty. It seemed he had failed in every aspect. “I have made a terrible mistake.”

Sylvain shook his head. “If anyone understands terrible mistakes, it’s me. Knowing Mercie, you can still fix this. Not everyone gets that chance.”

“Thank you.”

Sylvain waved him away. “I’ll tell Dimitri you’ll see him tomorrow. Don’t worry, we’ll keep him safe.”

Dedue needed no encouragement. He dashed down the corridor as quickly as his legs would carry him.


	10. Chapter 10

A pounding on Mercedes’s door nearly made her jump out of her skin. Her fingers tightened on her sewing, every nerve in her body alert. The pounding came again. She eased out of the chair, leaving her needlework on the small table of her rented room. Magic flickered down her arm. She had more than just herself to protect these days.

“Mercedes?”

She froze at the sound of the deep voice on the other side of the door. It couldn’t be. After so many weeks of hoping, had the goddess finally answered her prayers?

Mercedes flung the door open, and there he was, dripping wet, clothes sticking to his massive body and hair plastered to his head. His chest heaved, naked desperation in his features. The only other time she’d seen such open emotion on his face was when they made love.

“Dedue,” she said, his name sticking on the sudden lump in her throat. Beyond him, the spring rains pounded the paving stones. “You’re soaking wet. Come in before you catch a chill.”

Dedue took two steps into the room and fell to his knees. He wrapped his arms around her, head pressed against her middle. “Please forgive me. I have repaid your love and kindness with a grievous wrong. I beg you to let me make it right.”

“I don’t know if I should make it that easy for you,” she said, even though her heart felt like it might explode.

“I do not deserve it. I do not deserve you.”

His body shook silently, and she set a hand on his shoulder. Was he…weeping? She’d never seen Dedue cry. Secretly, she’d wondered if he ever had.

“Why did you not tell me you were pregnant?” he asked, voice broken and muffled against her clothing.

So he had found out, and that was why he had returned. She stroked his wet hair, tears pricking her eyes. “You made it clear that you needed to focus on your duty to Dimitri.”

“Then why keep the child?”

“I always wanted to have a baby with you. I just didn’t think it would happen when it did. Once I found out I was pregnant, I was glad to be able to keep a part of you in my life.”

Dedue looked up at her, face wet from more than rain. “Had I known, I would have come immediately. I would not let you bear the burden alone.”

“I know.” She caressed his handsome, scarred face. “But if you returned to me, I didn’t want it to be because of duty. I would rather raise our child alone than feel like being with us wasn’t your heart’s desire.”

A muscle in his jaw twitched, and new tears spilled from his eyes. “I want to be with you. But my promises—”

“Were made to someone you love. Someone who loves you in return and doesn’t want to see your sense of duty tear you apart. You’ve committed so much of your life to other people, but what of your duty to yourself? What about your dreams?”

“I owe His Majesty a debt—”

“Have you asked him if he feels it has been paid?”

Dedue bowed his head, eyes squeezed shut.

Mercedes put her arms around him and pulled him to her. Her clothes wicked the moisture from his, but she didn’t care. “I don’t want to speak for Dimitri, but I suspect he would like to see you happy.”

Dedue didn’t respond. He just held onto Mercedes tightly, as if she were a rock in a tumultuous sea. She stroked his head in silence, wishing she could tell him she didn’t care, he could serve his lord however he liked. But she had let others control her life for far too long—first her adoptive father and then Dedue.

It wouldn’t do for him to fall ill, so she helped him remove his sopping clothing with as much detachment as she could muster. The sight of his magnificent, beloved body sparked memories that threatened to make her tears fall anew. Fortunately, her ever-present nausea kept her desire at bay, and soon he was wrapped in a blanket by the fire. She changed out of her wet clothes into her nightgown—it was too late in the day to put on another dress—and sat in the chair next to the hearth. Silence reigned as the fire crackled away.

“What would make you happy?” Mercedes finally asked.

Dedue exhaled through his nose and closed his eyes. “To show my child the fields of Duscur in bloom, you by my side.”

Mercedes nodded. The lump in her throat had grown too large to talk around. That was what she wanted, too. She wanted to visit his homeland with him, to start their school and educate the people of Duscur so their culture wasn’t lost.

“Perhaps we should pray,” Mercedes said once composed. She’d been doing a lot of that lately. It seemed it was too soon to tell if the goddess had heard her prayers.

They folded their hands and bowed their heads. Mercedes prayed with all her heart and soul for Dedue to find peace and balance and become the man he wanted to be, whatever that might look like. When she was finished, she raised her head. Dedue continued to pray, tears leaking anew from his closed eyes. Was he praying to the gods of Duscur, her goddess, or both? As long as one of them listened, she supposed it didn’t much matter.

Mercedes left him to it as she prepared a simple stew for dinner. Having him near brought back memories of cleaning, cooking, and sewing together. They both enjoyed the domestic arts. The memories were as painful as they were pleasurable. Her heart had been wounded several times in her life—running away from her stepfather’s home, being forcibly adopted, losing her brother twice—and breaking up with Dedue had hurt just as much.

She was just finishing up when Dedue stirred. Unlike when he arrived, his eyes were clear. She handed him a bowl of stew. He took it from her, but he immediately put it on the table.

“I have been a fool.” He drew near and ran his thumb over her cheek. “I was blessed, and I cast those blessings aside. I love His Majesty, yes. I also love you. I am selfish and greedy, for I want both my work and my family.”

Mercedes waited, although it took all her willpower not to fling herself into his arms.

Dedue returned to his knees before her, blanket draped around his massive form. He took her hand in his and looked into her eyes. “Mercedes, will you be my wife, if you can forgive what I’ve done?”

“This isn’t because of the baby, is it?” she asked, although the way her words wounded him was evident in his gaze.

“It is because a life without you is no life at all.”

Mercedes sniffled, blinking rapidly. Her hand seemed so pale and small in his.

“Will you marry me?” he asked.

“Yes,” she croaked and threw herself at him, nearly knocking him over.

Dedue’s warm, strong arms enveloped her, and it felt like coming home. She sobbed against his bare chest. At long last, all the hurt of the past few months came pouring out. He cradled her and rubbed her back as she wept. His strong, steady heartbeat echoed in her ear, helping her calm. Eventually, her tears dried, and she sat up and wiped her eyes.

“Dinner is cold,” she said with a weak laugh.

“Sit. I will take care of it.”

Dedue settled Mercedes in her chair, re-wrapped the blanket around his hips, and spooned the stew back into the pot to warm over the fire. It was just like it had been before, although the quarters were far shabbier and cramped. Yet she was happier than she’d been in a long time.

After they ate, Dedue cleaned up. Color stole into his cheeks when he caught her gaze and asked, “May I stay here tonight?”

Heat rose in her own face. “Of course, although I don’t really feel in the mood to—”

“I only wish to hold you,” he said with a shake of his head.

“That sounds nice.” She almost said it had been too long, but she didn’t have the heart to punish him. Their time apart seemed to have been as painful for him as it was for her. Perhaps more so, since he had himself to blame.

Mercedes’s bed was too small and rickety to hold them both, so Dedue moved the table and chairs and pulled the mattress in front of the fire. They got ready for bed and settled down together, bare skin against bare skin. She closed her eyes and smiled. He felt so good, so safe. This was where they belonged. He seemed to agree, for he let loose a gentle sigh and pulled her closer, fingers spread protectively over her belly.

“Are you excited about the baby?” she asked.

“I am overjoyed. It feels like a miracle.”

Her smile widened, and she rested her head on his shoulder. She’d missed the pine and cedar scent of him. Perhaps tonight she’d finally sleep well.

“Tomorrow I will speak to His Majesty,” Dedue murmured, but his warmth and the fire and her happiness overwhelmed her, and she dropped off to sleep before she could hear the rest of his words.


	11. Chapter 11

One month later, Dedue and Mercedes were married at Garreg Mach in the cathedral with all their friends—their found family—in attendance. Mercedes’s adoptive father hadn’t been invited. They held a modest reception afterwards, which included dancing and traditional wedding foods from Duscur. Dedue’s first dance with Mercedes felt like something out of a dream. Being able to call her wife was a gift beyond reckoning.

It was good to see their friends, with a bit of the old Academy camaraderie creeping back into their interactions. Dimitri caught up with the professor—now Archbishop—and Sylvain got drunk and said something to Ingrid that made her tow him out of the hall by his ear. Ashe and Annette showed off their infant son, with Gustave and his wife acting the proud grandparents. Even Felix attended, accompanied by Dorothea. Warmth spread through Dedue. So, this was what it felt like to belong.

That night, Dedue and Mercedes lay in bed, his hand on her belly. She wasn’t showing yet, nor was the baby large enough to make its movements known, but he could feel its presence just the same. His family. His future.

When they returned to Fhirdiad, Dimitri surprised them with a wedding gift of funding for their school. Mercedes immediately purchased a building she’d had her eye on—she’d already begun filing for the proper permits—and renovations began. They moved out of the castle to a house in the Duscur district, where Mercedes soon ingratiated herself to the inhabitants. She spent the rest of her pregnancy working with the community to put together a book of Duscur history and an outline of two more books, one on culture and one on folklore.

Their daughter was born in late autumn under a full moon on an unseasonably warm night. Dedue and Mercedes held each other and their baby, and when mother and child slept, Dedue thanked all the gods and goddesses he could think of for his wonderful little family.

When spring finally came, Dedue took his wife and daughter to Duscur, to see the fields in bloom. Dedue stood on a knoll with the baby in his arms as Mercedes moved among the blossoms. The sounds of bees flitting from flower to flower filled the air. A laugh escaped Mercedes as she spun around, skirts swirling, sending colorful petals aloft against the blue dome of the sky. Her grin was more lovely than any flower.

“I love Duscur,” she called. “It’s so beautiful!”

Dedue smiled and stroked his daughter’s plump, bronze cheek with his finger. The words Mercedes had said during their first true conversation echoed in his mind. His people might have been displaced, but Duscur remained. He held the next generation in his arms. There was hope in his life, hope for his culture, hope for this land. All because of Mercedes and her love.

Dedue, and Duscur, lived on.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with this fic to the end! I hope it was satisfying, especially if you like Mercedes and Dedue as much as I do. The MA version (it's just smuttier--we all know Dedue and Mercedes don't swear) is available at adpauli.com/fanfics/fields-of-duscur.


End file.
